Monday, May 16, 2011

A fresh start

Today is my first (week) day being unemployed. Yep. In the blink of an eye my 12 weeks' redeployment period has ended and my employment has ceased.

I have to admit that I was a bit of a mess last week. Especially my last day, Friday. I hadn't told many people that I was leaving - you'd think my boss would have kept track but he came to see me at 10am asking what was happening. Competence in action, huh? (A colleague told me that I should be careful not to "burn my bridges" but if I can't be frank on this here blog then where can I?) I was in a state of constantly being on the edge of tears - and all too often slipped off that edge, mostly at inopportune moments unfortunately. My closest colleagues brought in cake and we had a small afternoon tea. I went around and said 'bye to a few of the nicer people in the building and sent an email to the rest around 3pm.

I was exhausted by the end of the day - the stress of the last several months, weeks and days was draining. I got home and Dan mentioned an email that one of our best friends had sent to a mailing list of IT folk in the Uni. It was so incredibly sweet - I'd already cried when I read it that afternoon but just having it brought up again when I was trying so hard to be composed in front of the kids and my parents caused me to break down and I had to go to another room for a good hard sob.

After that, the weekend seemed to improve. Saturday I did NO housework. Just sat around crocheting. And the usual running around with the kids for their Saturday activities. Sunday was Dan's birthday. I bought him a new computer (27" iMac - yay for spending my redundancy money before it arrives) and we went out to yum cha with his mum and sister and her husband. The afternoon was spent chatting and eating cake with my brothers and co. who were at my parents' place for the usual fortnightly tennis day. It was all very pleasant. To top it off I dragged my mother-in-law (twisted her arm, I did) to Spotlight and bought a bunch of threads (floss) for this cross-stitch pattern which I am excited about starting.

And there it is... Excited. I realised after that craft supply top-up that I wasn't sad any more. Well, still a little sad but not crying and moaning and upset any more. I am starting to get excited. I'm making plans, to do lists, thinking about the future. Thinking about craft projects that I may actually complete in a timely fashion. Thinking about cleaning up the house, sorting and de-cluttering. Spending time with the kids. More time with the kids. Reading books. Writing! I feel like a weight has finally lifted.

Of course I will probably have to go back to work at some point in time, even if it's just to satisfy the lego habit, but for now I'm happy to be a stay-at-home-most-of-the-time (still going to TAFE one day a week) mum. Happy. It's a nice feeling.