Thursday, June 10, 2010

Can't shake this feeling

Thursdays I don't work. It's my day off with Elora. Our "just you and me" day. It's nice to have that day off work but having the extra time at home means that I have more time to look around and see the horrendous MESS that has accumulated during the week. Argh!

This morning it struck a nerve and I just lost it. The toys and paper and pencils and textas all over the dining room floor drove me nuts. I yelled at the boys to pick up and got out the broom to sweep up all the bits and mandarin seeds (Argh! I don't know why they just decided to put them onto the floor lately!) and now it looks a lot better.

I can almost sigh with relief, except I still have that anxious, panicky feeling and I can't shake it. Sitting down with the iPad/iPod doesn't help. Having a cup of tea hasn't helped. I'm thinking the only way I'll feel better is to make good use of this nervous energy and get to more cleaning. Even though what I WANT to do is something crafty. Perhaps I'm just feeling guilty because I just want to knit/crochet/sew when really I should be doing domestic chores.

Grr.

I think soozs put it best in her recent series of posts. Everything she wrote struck a chord with me. Working part time, trying to keep the house in order (although she cooks a lot more than me and doesn't have the incredible support that I get from my parents, and is an incredible seamstress and general crafter... But I digress), she got frustrated with her situation. Her eloquence and clarity of thoughts had me nodding my head as I read. She has come upon a solution and it seems to be working for her - more than I can say for myself.

BUT we must keep trying. One day we'll get there. Maybe?

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