Tuesday, January 15, 2008

50 years to fill

I'm going through a bit of a mild period of blah at the moment. It's school holidays for Dante and the poor kid is bored out of his brain. Well, actually he entertains himself well enough by watching TV, playing on the playstation or flash games on the computer but I would really prefer that he do something more imaginative, creative and/or active with his time!

It's my fault. I haven't spent much time with him or organised any activities for him. He'll go to vacation care for a few days in the couple of weeks. That's it. I can't even contemplate doing anything else. It's slack of me, I know. But I'm in this mood, you see. Procrastination due to frustration. Not enough time, too much to do.

The reason?

There is ONE week left until Elora starts child care. That means I'm returning to work in less than two weeks. After 11 months off on maternity leave, it's a blink of an eye.

I'm not ready. I'm still breastfeeding Elora - what will we do? Noone can put her to bed anymore except for me. My father used to be able to rock her but lately she has refused to be hypnotised by him. But I guess otherwise she'll be okay. I hope! I just don't want to think about it (which is why, I'm sure, that I've put off weaning her).

Ack. And then there's the crafting. I've been buying more and more fabric - it's an illness, I tells ya. Today I managed to scoot out while Elora was sleeping (my mother kept an ear out for her) and bought some more. I also bought a couple of skirt patterns since I bought some lovely fabric with that purpose in mind. I want to make more clothes for myself to wear to work! I'm sick of all the old clothes that I had and want to start this year afresh. (But don't want to pay $70+ for a skirt from a retail store.)

So I've been staying up super late each night trying to do stuff, finish things before I go back to work (like making skirts, finishing quilts, starting on winter knitting). I'm starting to feel a little panicked about the lack of time and all the projects I want to do. There is a huge long list, including posting more on this blog! I still need to show you what I made in the last month or so! When the "Oh my god I'm going back to work soon and won't have any time to do anything because I'll be so tired and stressed and will need to go to bed at stupidly early times" realisation hit midway through December.

Anyway, I was lamenting to Dan, or perhaps he could just feel my anxiety, and he told me to calm down. I've got an entire life ahead of me to do all this stuff. I've got "fifty years to fill". What a nice sentiment, and a great blog post title! If only I could take it to heart. Because at the moment I'm still just thinking about all there is to do and wishing I could do it.


Evelyn said...

well there is the theory that you can't really provide creative activities for someone else - its only creative if they create it themselves.

And somewhere I remember reading that its good for children to be bored. If they're bored, they're not bored enough because that's when they come up with something to do.

The High Priestess said...

I like the quote out of the Dangerous Book for Boys, which defines boredom as progressing to the next level of a computer game.